While last week's premiere introduced us to the celebrity (term used loosely) couples fighting to keep their relationships alive, it was all over last night.
Marriage Boot Camp Season 2 Episode 2 saw them headed to divorce court.
Dun dun dunnnnn. There was a twist, of course. This is WEtv. Or We TV, or WE TV or Wetv or however you stylize that random network. Point being: Twist!
Directors Elizabeth and Jim Carroll are trying to get this crew to take the concept of marriage and the prospect of divorce seriously. Good luck with that.
But Judge Toler, the week's guest star, is dead serious in taking them to task.
Natalie and Jacob are first up as Judge Toler takes them inside her personal divorce court and gives them a dressing down like you wouldn't believe.
"Natalie's a social media whore," Jacob says of Natalie Nunn.
"I get more likes when I'm half naked," Natalie concedes.
"If I'd known she was Natalie from the Bad Girls' Club then I probably would have ran," Jacob says, making us wonder how long it was before that came up.
Natalie, for her part, calls the judge "girl." Good times.
Aviva and Reid Drescher seem to be staying in their marriage simply because they like fighting over money, and a little bit of custody thrown in there too.
Syleena and Kiwane's hearing didn't even get started before Syleena was sobbing over losing her children, and "custody" ultimately goes to Kiwane.
This is only a faux divorce court, of course, so the idea of splitting up is meant to show them what would happen if, well, they actually split up like this.
If you watch Marriage Boot Camp online, you know they've done crazier stunts. As for Speidi's hearing? They have no money and no kids, so it was prompt.
Not to say kids aren't also coming between them.
"Finances are definitely an issue in our relationship because I don't currently have a job," Spencer says, and he does raise a valid point about affording them.
He also seems to genuinely not want one, though.
These were the days, when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt used to just pose for pictures and stir up trouble on The Hills. Nowadays it's kind of gone to $h!t.
"We can't even walk down the street without her going up to every little baby and kid," Spencer says of Heidi Montag, whom the judge gives a scolding.
"Get the fairy dust out of your eyes," Toler says to the plastic princess. "You can't hang onto something because you hope it's gonna turn into something else."
In other words ... go ahead and buy a clue.
As for Tyson and Rachel? They're not even married! But if they were, all the money would be hers and hopefully she would get a prenup anyway.
How did the gang respond to this and future exercises? Are any of them headed down the right path? Who's crazier, Natalie Nunn or Heidi Montag?
Follow the links above to see!
