There was mud. There were mullets. There was pooting. And there was sex talk based around cereal.
Yes, folks, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo kicked off Season 3 in style last night.
The opening episode centered around Sugar Bear needing his own space, especially when talked to maxi pads and when Pumpkin turned the house into her own beauty parlor.
Enter The Manper.
This monstrosity was parked in the driveway, much to June Shannon's outrage, as the woman who "wears the stretch pants" in the family insisted she'd force her now-husband to get rid of it.
In the end, though, we were reminded why this show is actually a hit: there's real love and life lessons behind the farting and the road kill.
Sugar Bear agreed to park his Manper in the backyard and admitted that he truly does enjoy spending time with the girls. And to prove it, he went out and bought them some maxi pads. How sweet. We guess.
On the second new installment, June made it clear to her daughters: She would not be a grandmother again any time soon.
So it was time to talk about the birds, the bees... and the Fruit Loops? Yes, because, well, see...
"A girl meets this boy, they fall in love ... and the boys try to get in girls' fruit loops," she explained to Lauryn, Anna and Jessica. "A fruit loop is your biscuit, a woman's vaginal area."
Ah, okay. But why does June refer to it by this moniker? Because guys "go loopy for it," she says. And can anyone really argue?
Fortunately, Alana was off at cheerleader camp during this chat about how tasty breakfast treats can lead to babies nine months down the road.
"No, my mama did not talk about sex, birds and the bees, flowers and the trees to me, no," June told the camera later on, shocking exactly nobody. "And I guess that's why I don't like to talk to my kids about it."
That's also why she uses euphemisms for body parts, such as "ting tangs," "weed wackers" and the "bungalow."
Sugar Bear, meanwhile, has an even better talk with the boyfriends, telling them in hilariously simple terms:
"You guys are getting close to my girls like two roaches on a bacon bit," and "these girls can be nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival," concluding with words we can all take to heart in our love lives:
"Treat 'em with respect – don't make 'em cry."
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