Ellen DeGeneres rarely responds to rumors about her personal or professional life.
When the talk show host does feel a need to reply to chatter about her supposedly failing marriage or the allegedly inappropriate nature of her role as a company spokesperson, she does in succinct/hilarious fashion.
Just as she did in her latest monologue.
In a January 8 op-ed for The Christian Post, Larry Tomczak asked readers if they were aware of the "gay programming assaulting" their home.
He then called out Ellen, Modern Family, Scandal and Anderson Cooper for their supposed agenda.
In his list of examples, the pastor wrote that DeGeneres "celebrates her lesbianism and 'marriage' in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls."
So, what does Ellen have to say in response to this charge?
"First of all, I'm not 'married.' I'm married. That's all," she says in the above video, removing Tomczak's quotation marks around the term.
The comedian goes on to say she doesn't know how to "celebrate her lesbianism," before taking out a champagne popper and exclaiming via mock excitement, I'm gay!
"Larry, the only way I'm trying to influence people is to be more kind and compassionate with one another. That is the message I am sending out," she continued. "I don't have an agenda. I'm not here to brainwash anyone."
DeGeneres then jokingly held up a spinning vortex and said:
"Listen to the sound of my voice. Attention youth of the world. I want you to live your lives being exactly who you are. Be true to yourself. The most important thing is that you be true to yourself. The second most important thing is that you wear 'Ellen' underwear, and only 'Ellen' underwear."
HA! Could Ellen have handled this situation any more perfectly?!?
Rebel Wilson and Ellen DeGeneres perform a track here off their album, "White Ladies Rapping." Sit back and enjoy "Watching Cats on the Internet" now!
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