If you're a beautiful woman with large breasts, society often thinks that's all you are. You're advised to cover up or be branded a slut, and if you don't, well you deserve what's coming to you.
No one knows this better than Emily Ratajkowski, a beautiful woman with large breasts who gained worldwide attention as the model who appeared topless in Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" video.
The model and actress describes her body-shaming experiences in an essay she wrote for Lenny, a newsletter produced by Lena Dunham.
In the essay, she writes about how she developed early and family members and friends were worried about the kinds of reactions she would receive from men.
"You need to hide out, a girl like you, keep a low profile," she was told.
Although she knew they were well-meaning, she contemplates what kind of damage we're doing to women by telling them they must be defined by the way men see them - as sexual objects first and human beings second.
Last week, Emily publicly endorsed presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, then afterwards received a slew of attacks on social media, such as:
- "I find it funny how we care about the opinion of someone who is famous for being naked in a music video,"
- "Maybe if you put your tits away I could hear your voice," and the contrary,
- "Shut up and show us your tits."
Basically, if you are pretty, and choose not to hide it, you must be stupid.
She said she hears voices in her head daily, reminding her "not to send the wrong message."
"The implication is that to be sexual is to be trashy because being sexy means playing into men's desires," she explains.
"To me, 'sexy' is a kind of beauty, a kind of self-expression, one that is to be celebrated, one that is wonderfully female. Why does the implication have to be that sex is a thing men get to take from women and women give up?"
The message she is trying to convey is essentially the same as the sentiment held by anti-slut shamers everywhere:
"Don't tell me how to dress, tell them not to rape" - or judge, or insult, or assume, or tell me my opinions don't matter.
She sums it up beautifully, with some inspirational words of wisdom for girls and women:
"I refuse to live in this world of shame and silent apologies. Life cannot be dictated by the perceptions of others, and I wish the world had made it clear to me that people's reactions to my sexuality were not my problems, they were theirs."
Bravo, Emily.
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