Kim Kardashian is back on her app with life-altering advice for ladies (and men curious about all the crap women go through to look good).
This week's topic: BOOBS.
How very Kim Kardashian of her.
We all know Kim loooooooves to display as much of her humongous honeys as possible without actually getting arrested. She is constantly seen sporting necklines plunging down to her navel and exposing so much breast that she's about one hard sneeze away from a major nip slip.
But Kim's nips will do no slipping, thanks to her handy-dandy tape trick.
The curvy reality star shared this throwback photo to Instagram, directing fans to her app to learn about "the red carpet cleavage tape trick I've been doing for years!"
This pic might be considered NSFW, unless you work at a strip club.
I think we can figure out the technique just by looking at the photo, Kim. We don't exactly need a set of IKEA instructions.
As we can see, she starts at the underboob and tapes all the way up and over her shoulders, creating a sort of suspender-like harness that lifts and separates.
The lifting, of course, is key to defeating the nemesis of big-bosomed ladies everywhere: gravity.
"You tape them up so they are super lifted," she explains. "It takes a little work but trust me it's all worth it LOL. I've used everything from duct tape to packing tape to masking tape and I think that the best I found is gaffer's tape."
But after you and your very alert rack are done tripping the light fantastic and retire for the evening, Kim warns that you should "brace yourself for when it's time to take it off LOL."
I, for one, am not LOLing. In fact, I shuddered from head to toe just reading that.
So there you have it, folks. If you try this trick you may not have any skin left by the time the night is through, but no one could ever accuse you of droopy boobies.
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