Something tells us Tom Hiddleston's ribs are bruised from being repeatedly and violently nudged right now.
That's Abigail Anderson - who hardcore Taylor Swift fans will recognize as Squad Lieutenant Number 1, aka Taylor's BFF - and her new fiance, Matt Lucier, who reportedly proposed to Anderson last night.
Abigail announced the news with the above pic and the following caption (gleeful Emojis delete for the sake of Taylor's sanity):
"Tonight I answered the easiest question I've ever been asked. Without any doubt and without fear - I am so excited for this next chapter in our lives @mattthephotographer
"Thank you to my family & all of my friends that went the extra mile to make sure this night was everything I've ever imagined. #HePutARingOnIt"
All kidding aside, we're sure Taylor is very happy for her friend.
If she were single at the moment, she might be making arrangements to have Abigail fitted with a pair of concrete Louboutins, but as it happens, Taylor is dating Hiddleston, and things seem to be going well.
When you're a member of the Swift Squad, announcing an engagement while Taylor is in the heady days of a new relationship is like asking the Godfather for a favor on the day of his daughter's wedding.
Any other day it might get you killed, but today it gets you kissed on both cheeks.
For all we know, Abigail and Matt have actually been engaged for months, but have been forced to celebrate their love in a secret apartment in the proletariat district for fear of Swift's Orwellian retribution.
These days, Taylor's breakup with Calvin Harris is old news. (It was almost a month ago, which is roughly half a century in Taylor Swift relationship years.)
Better yet, her current relationship is going so well that Swift and Hiddleston are reportedly talking marriage. (Yes, already. See previous comment about time moving more slowly in the Taylor-verse.)
So for right now, Abigail and Matt are safe.
But if the tides turn and Tom cuts things off with Taylor after getting his first dose of her "Blank Space" side, the happy couple may soon be the reason for the teardrops - and bloodstains - on her guitar.
Congrats, you crazy kids!
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