This week on Teen Mom 2, we found the fabulous four in familiar surroundings.
Some of those surroundings were a bit more positive than others, of course.
Let's break down last night's episode, the second of Teen Mom 2 Season 3:
Jenelle Evans is pretty sure she's gonna fail a drug test. Doing drugs will do that. Minus 800.
That and her car broke down. When it rains it pours, as they say. What WILL she do about it?
Later, after lawyer Dustin tells her she needs to be extra careful (LOL) Jenelle decides to tell BahBrah (who helped with the car sitch) that she smoked weed.
Plus 100 for honestly at least.
BahBrah asks, as only BahBrah can, "Why wouldja do sucha thing?" Jenelle Evans' reply: "I was under a lot of stress. I lost my boyfriend. I lost all my friends."
Fail. Minus 50.
Oh, but there's a drink that "cleans out your system for two hours" and she's convinced it will save her, even if it tastes disgusting! Let's give that a shot!
Alas, before long, Dustin breaks the news: She's facing 45 days in jail. Offered a second chance, she pulls an Amber Portwood and CHOOSES JAIL instead.
"I'm sick of being on probation. I just want my freedom back," Jenelle Evans says, making no sense. "Everything is falling apart!" No doubt. Minus 250.
Kailyn Lowry is having a tough go of it now that she knows how hard Jo Rivera played her, so she and pal Kim hang out with Isaac and rehash it all.
"I cheated on Jordan with Jo and I broke up with Jordan, and now Jo has a girlfriend ... well, really they just have sex ... and I feel really awful that Jordan's on the back burner," she says. Minus 40.
She also decides to torture herself by calling her mom again. Minus 60.
And Jordan's back in the picture now? For how long? Eh, Plus 50.
Chelsea Houska is doing her thing at Year 'Round Brown, and that thing is being called "irresponsible" because she was missing work. Crazy, we know. Minus 50.
Luckily, she's back with Adam Lind, so she has a reason to live briefly before he breaks her heart and she is done with him forever in like five hours. Minus 50.
Adam gives her a ring for her birthday! A promise ring that signifies he's not going anywhere! Plus 100 for the gesture, even if he only means it through the end of the business day.
Chelsea Houska notes that her dad will "freak." Plus 50 for her dad being smart.
She does show it to her mom, telling her that it means he's "not going to leave me again like every other time. It's like serious. He's not gonna cheat." Wow.
Finally she does tell her dad. "Adam got me this for my birthday. We're gonna work through sh!t and no cheating," she says, not at all convincingly. Minus 50.
Leah Messer is having an otherwise normal day in the trailer, with the twins gnawing at her and the like, until her lawyer calls about the next meeting.
Here's the deal: She and Corey Simms will go into mediation to come to an agreement on the kids, and if all goes well, there won't be a custody battle.
Leah Messer then tells her roommate that she never really wanted a divorce, nor did she expect a planned meeting to discuss support payments.
It's worth noting, of course, that Leah Messer totally boned some other dude while she was married to Corey, then filed for divorce. Just saying. Minus 200.
After the meeting, we learn that Corey gets the girls for three weekends a month and Leah gets 'em the rest of the time. Then the dam bursts at last.
"Are you happier now in your little trailer, or would you rather have a house with the four of us in it?" Corey asks, subtitles and all. "It coulda been alright."
"Tell me how many times you went back to Robbie when you was with me?" he adds. Yeah. Plus 300 for calling it like it is ... although he's allegedly seeing other women too.
Leah decides to do what all red-blooded girls do when faced with gossip about an ex: hack into his e-mail and do some light detective work. Minus 200.
There were a "crap ton of messages" from one girl. OOOH! Plus 40.
One of them reads, "You make me have butterflies." Plus 300.
Leah's friend says the "old Corey" who had a girlfriend every week is obviously back, and Leah's reduced to tears ... even though she wanted out!
One wonders if Leah Messer was just being stubborn or calling a bluff or something with this. Did she or did she not want a life sans Corey like really bad?
EPISODE TOTAL: -1,110! SEASON TOTAL: -1,270!
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