After decades of "eccentric" public behavior, Johnny Depp's life is somehow weirder at the age of 51 than its ever been before.
Many fans hoped that Depp's marriage to Amber Heard might slow the hard-partying oddball actor down, but if anything, it seems to have had the opposite effect.
In the months since he tied the knot, Depp has gone missing from the set of Pirates of the Caribbean 5 and sources say he's been hitting the bottle harder than ever.
Johnny resurfaced in Australia a few weeks ago with his wife Amber Heard in tow, thus putting a (temporary)end to those persistent divorce rumors.
Unfortunately, he also brought his two small yorkie terriers, and authorities are sending out the word that if Johnny and Amber don't ship the pooches back home by Saturday, they'll be euthanized.
Anyone who's ever traveled to Australia or seen that episode of The Simpsons where Bart brings his pet frog Down Under knows that the country has a strict ban on outside flora and fauna.
"If we start letting movie stars even though they've been the 'sexiest man alive' twice to come into our nation, then why don't we just break the laws for everybody?" said Australian Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce.
"It's time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States."
We assume Pistol and Boo are the dogs and not Minister Joyce's weird nicknames for Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
All kidding aside, Johnny better get those dogs home. Who knows what could happen if Australia kills Captain Jack's pups? We've gone to war over less.
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