The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice is getting out of prison before you know it, and a good thing too for her libido.
In the upcoming Bravo special about her time in jail, viewers will be treated to phone conversations between Teresa and Joe Giudice.
Viewers will only see Joe, who is on camera; Teresa can be heard on the jail phone, presumably with subtitles added in post-production.
During one call, Teresa pleads for phone sex, and Joe laughs it off.
Maybe he's just not that kinky? Not that into her anymore? Or it's just not the right time? There are TV cameras two inches from his face.
It gets worse/better. Teresa talks about creating a fantasy life behind bars, and how all she wants is to ride Joe 'til the cows come home.
She was able to watch Magic Mike (it's minimum security) and says she pictured Joe's face on Channing Tatum's body as he grinded.
We don't even know what to say other than that we'll be looking at some Charlotte McKinney photos to cleanse our mental palette.
As for whether she's interested in getting any from the other "team" behind bars ... Teresa says she has had no such interactions. Yet.
She says she "hears plenty of it," however, and we don't doubt it.
If there's anything we know because we watch Orange is the New Black online, though, is that prison does crazy s--t to people sexually.
We're not saying she has to become a lesbian full time, but no one is judging people who experiment, and you do what you gotta do.
The special airs October 11; Teresa gets out early next year.
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