In case you somehow haven't heard, Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio are hooking up.
Naturally, this weird coupling has led to some even weirder rumors, many of which sound like fan fiction straight from the mind of a teenage Titanic obsessive.
First came reports that Rihanna is pregnant with DiCaprio's baby. Then we learned that Rihanna promised Leo she wouldn't get more tattoos for some reason.
Like we said, pretty absurd stuff, but America's most ingenious tabloid writers aren't done making up ridiculous Rihonardo BS just yet.
Enter OK! magazine, who claims this week that Leo isn't the only one making ridiculous demands in his new relationship.
Some background: Leonardo DiCaprio is fat now. It might be for a role, or it might just be because he's freakin' Leonardo DiCaprio, he doesn't need to be fit to get laid, and pie is delicious.
RiRi is apparently not a fan of Leo entering the Marlon Brando phase of his career prematurely, so she's pressuring the bearded beauty to drop some pounds:
"Ri's got some extremely high standards when it comes to who she sleeps with and Leo falls out of this category because he's a lot flabbier than her usual lovers," says a source, adding that Ri has instructed Leo to "get a six-pack."
"Leo thinks it's all highly amusing. He's never had a girl tell him what to do, so you can imagine how much he's loving it."
We don't know what's funnier: the revelation that Leo has been secretly craving discipline all this time, or the idea that the woman who dated Chris Brown and Drake has "extremely high standards" for her sex partners.
Rihanna poses with Instagram photos. In Complex!
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