Tila Tequila is pregnant, or so she alleged/threatened in a Twitter post Friday. If it's true, prepare yourselves for the apocalypse, 'cause that may be next.
"Surprise!! I'm 10 weeks pregnant! I just couldn't hold it in any longer as this brings me so much joy and happiness to know that there is a baby Tila on the way."
"Yayy! I'm gonna be a Mommy!"
Yayy.
"May God bless my little bundle of joy on this Good Friday! I love you sooooo much little baby!" she added, one day after teasing us with the following:
"Hi Everyone! I have missed you all so very much, but I had to disappear for a while to get my act together and enjoy my newfound happiness with sober living!"
"I have more exciting news to follow up shortly! I love you all so much and thank you so much for having been there for me throughout all of these years!
"I am happy, healthy, glowing & growing these days! Things are only about to get better from this point forward. That's a promise! hehe - Miss Tila because I missed you!"
Who's the man who put a baby inside Tila Tequila? Is there actually a baby inside Tila Tequila? No one can answer either question with certainty now.
Why would any part of us question whether this is legitimate? Because her penchant for lies and PR stunts makes Farrah Abraham look honest.
She's also certifiable. Just a few short months ago, this is a woman who was ranting about being Adolf Hitler reborn ... and claiming Paul Walker was murdered.
On the flip side, she's supposedly sober now and having gone off the grid for a few months, maybe Tila Tequila has finally turned over a new leaf.
What better way to celebrate than a baby by an unnamed gentleman (just go with it, we need to try to end this story on a positive note somehow) ... right?
Tila Tequila is ready to take it. She lies back here in a still image from her second sex tape.
2. Tila Tequila Sex Tape Pics
Brace yourselves. These are photos from the new Tila Tequila sex tape.
3. Tila Tequila on All Fours
Come hither, Tila Tequila. The reality star is on all fours in this sex tape still.
4. Tila Tequila Sex Tape Still
This is a photo from the second Tila Tequila sex tape. Look at it at your own risk.
5. Tila Tequila Facebook Pic
Actually, she looks kind of wonderful here.
6. A Gross Carpet
And that's more like it.
7. Take the Kiss Back!
Darn it. We're gonna have to clean off our computer screens now. Tila Tequila has just blown a kiss and possibly given them a STD.
8. So Not Hot
It's not shocking that Tila Tequila would wear this outfit. But we are surprised over why she'd be invited to the Maxim Hot 100 party. She isn't hot.
9. Legs Wide Open
Pop quiz: has Tila Tequila ever posed for a photo with her legs closed? The answer is no.
10. Scarcely Clothed
This is a typical photo of Tila Tequila: barely clothed and surrounded by all her friends.
11. Red Carpet Mess
Tila Tequila hosted a launch party for her CD in May 2010. Very few people showed up for it.
12. More Breasts
We get it, Tila Tequila: you have breasts! This really isn't something you need to show off so often.
13. Classic Tila
At a launch party for her CD, Tila Tequila wore... well, this. Should we even ask what readers think of it?
14. Tila in NYC
Tila Tequila is now a celebrity blogger. Call us crazy, but we don't fear this competition.
15. Failing to Sing
Tila Tequila is singing in this photo. Correction: she is trying to sing, and failing.
16. (Don't) Leave
Note to Tila Tequila: if you want the paparazzi to leave you alone, just go inside your house.
17. Tila Tequila Cleavage Picture
Tila Tequila shows off her cleavage. Surprisingly this is a very unrevealing image for her.
18. Flash!
Tila Tequila isn't afraid to show off her body. In fact, it's pretty much the only way she ever makes any money.
19. Your Hook Up
Tila Tequila sends a smooch to her fans. This photo was taken at a book signing by the reality TV star, as she has penned "Hooking Up with Tila Tequila."
20. Tila Tequila and Courtenay Semel
It's all good in the girl-on-girl 'hood for Tila Tequila and Courtenay Semel, who appear to be pawing at each other again here at the AMAs. Way to go, classy ladies.
21. She Kissed a Girl!
And we bet Tila Tequila liked it. The self-proclaimed bisexual gets her lesbian on in this photo.
22. Tila Tequila in Playboy
Tila Tequila is everywhere. Here she is from a Playboy pictorial. The model and MySpace vixen has also appeared in Penthouse.
23. Hot, Hot Stuff
Tila Tequila on the cover of Stuff magazine. What else needs to be said?
24. Tila Tequila Picture
Wanna see Tila Tequila nude? Just pick up this issue of Penthouse.
25. Tila Tequila Pregnant
Aaaaand she's pregnant now supposedly. Yikes.
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If one thing's for sure after looking through this slideshow it's that Joan Rivers' plastic surgeon needs to start handing out his business card on the red carpet.
Or we could just let people age like they're supposed to so they don't end up looking like Joan Rivers one day. Yeah, there's that option.
Here, so you can see and believe, are 18 stars who are the same age. You can Google if you want, but you might be too busy picking your jaw up off the floor to do that.
Starting life as a Disney star might have done Selena Gomez good. She and Kate Upton are the same age but one looks far older than the other.
2. Jon Hamm and Jared Leto
Mad Men's Jon Hamm and Dallas Buyer's Club's Jared Leto are the same age. Maybe it's the long hair that keeps Leto looking so Jordan Catalono-like.
3. Robin Wright and Halle Berry
Robin Wright and Halle Berry are both 47 years old. Halle just gave birth to her second child while Robin's are grown and flown.
4. Andrew Lincoln and Jim Parsons
Also joining the 40 club are Andrew Lincoln and The Big Bang Theory's Jim Parsons. Looks like killing zombies has added some years to Lincoln.
5. Leonardo DiCaprio and Seth Green
It's hard to believe it, but Leonardi DiCaprio and Seth Green are both 40 years old. Does Seth Green look 40 to you?
6. Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson
Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson were born in 1990. In addition to a birth year, they share a love of Dior.
7. Kim Novak and Joan Rivers
Kim Novak and Joan Rivers were both born in 1933. One of them clearly aged more gracefully...with the help of a better plastic surgeon.
8. Rob Lowe and Russell Crowe
Rob Lowe and Russell Crowe are 1) poetic and 2) the same age. But you couldn't tell it by these photos.
9. Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson
Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson, both known for their bodies and reality TV star power, are the same age! Incredible!
From booze, to drugs, to just plain ol' genetics, everybody ages. Even Hollywood's rich and famous and attention-seeking reality TV stars.
Some just do it better than others.
And Hollywood's women do it better than the men, even counting Joan Rivers among the lot.
Or maybe it's just that the men don't care as much and it's yet another comment on the inherent sexism of Hollywood running through the celebrity gossip blogs that women have to stay young looking to be beautiful while men can rock the gray and nobody cares.
Except for Jared Leto of course, who might be a never-aging vampire like Pharrell Williams. And Halle Berry, who just birthed her second child at 47 years old. It's probably the kids who are keeping her young while for most of us the opposite is true.
Excuse me while I go slather on ever anti-aging serum in Sephora.
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Ask anybody you meet to name a one hit wonder and they'll be able to do it. We might not remember who sang it, but the melody is probably an earworm we can't forget.
Like the Kandi Burruss hit that heads off the slideshow below. Sure, she's a Grammy winner, but Porsha Williams landed more hits on Kenya Moore than Kandi landed on the charts as a solo artist.
And then there's Brooke Hogan, Chumbawumba, and American Idol alums Elliott Yamin and Kimberly Locke!
One hit wonders are so ubiquitous Tom Hanks and Liv Tyler made a movie about them. Everybody remember pulling for Tom Everett Scott to get the girl and the gig? I do.
I also remember these 20 one hit wonders which are sure to rock your morning. Or just send you fondly strolling down Nostalgia Lane.
Well if this one hit wonder isn't PERFECT for 4/20, we just don't know what is.
2. Kandi - Don't Think I'm Not
Before she was a Real Housewife of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss was going by Kandi and recording songs like "Don't Think I'm Not."
3. Norman Greenbaum - Spirit In The Sky
As an oft-featured song on movie soundtracks, it's hard to believe Spirit In The Sky was Norman Greenbaum's only hit.
4. D4L - Laffy Taffy
Hmmm, wonder if this was the inspiration for all of Miley Cyrus' twerking? Or if maybe they were all just munching on Laffy Taffy and this is what came out of D4L's jam session.
5. Brooke Hogan - About Us
Brooke Hogan, daughter of Hulk Hogan, tried to make it in the music business. She failed. It was epic.
6. Kimberly Locke - Eighth World Wonder
Kimberly Locke, another American Idol finalist, is also another one hit wonder. But hey, she had one, right? That's more than Taylor Hicks can say, and he WON.
7. Asher Roth - I Love College
Do you know why Asher Roth loved college? Probably because he knew how to celebrate 4/20.
8. Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
Don't even try to pretend like you haven't sung this song while ALSO pretending you're really Kung Fu fighting.
9. Aqua - Barbie Girl
Barbie Girl. Because life is fantastic when you're plastic. Or living off of air and light.
10. Mr. Big - To Be With You
Mr. Big's "To Be With You" is like many of the 80s big hair ballads: the only one the band made.
11. Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
Maybe you ARE too sexy for your shirt. If so, there's a one hit wonder for that.
12. Nena - 99 Luftballoons
If you don't know "99 Luftballoons" you should. Watch Wedding Crashers and get educated. Or just watch this video.
13. Elliott Yamin - Wait For You
Elliott Yamin, and American Idol finalist, has exactly ONE HIT under his post-Idol belt. But hey, it was a decent one?
14. Yael Naim - New Soul
After Yael Naim's "New Soul" became the apple theme song, we didn't hear anything else from her, which is too bad, because this song's fun!
15. Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out
"Who Let The Dogs Out" was another song of summer that led the Baha Men....nowhere. Oh well.
16. Come On Eileen
Come ON, Eileen! Why'd you have to go and be a one-hit wonder?
17. Tony Basil - Mickey
Oh, Tony, it's a pity, you don't understand, that this song featuring you in a cheerleading skirt in your mid-30s was destined to be your only hit.
18. Chumbawumba - Tubthumping
This song probably became a one hit wonder because NO ONE KNOWS what "Tubthumping" is about! Except alcohol. We got that.
19. Len - Steal My Sunshine
"Steal My Sunshine" was Len's ONLY hit, which all too often happens to songs of summer.
20. Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy
Marcy Playground's "Sex and Candy" is actually ABOUT drugs. And sex. It's, like, totally rock and roll.
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