In a special, Sunday night, THREE-hour installment of The Bachelor, Chris Soules looked to plow his field of prospective farmers' wives down to four.
Why did we need the first hour of Chris rehashing all the nonsense with Kelsey Poe et al, and Andi Dorfman sat down in tears with host Chris Harrison?
Who knows, but he did. Then he got down to business in another crazy two hours, bringing SIX women back to his native Iowa before hometown dates.
Hey, why go on a hometown date with someone who's not into you, right?
See The Bachelor spoilers if you want to learn who will win the final rose (allegedly), then continue on for our The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8 recap:
When The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8 finally got going, Chris returned from dispatching Kelsey and Ashley, and promptly cut Megan loose as well.
In other news, Megan was still on the show. Who knew?
All the women felt bad for Carly, including Carly, knowing she would also be cut at the rose ceremony. But then Chris Soules canceled the rose ceremony!
Instead, he announced that they're all goin' to Iowa!
No one got a better feel for Chris' life there than Jade Roper, who was invited for an exclusive tour of Arlington and all that his small town has to offer.
Read: Nothing. Like literally nothing. The place is so small, the oft-used "small town" doesn't even really begin to describe it. It's culture shock on TV.
Imagine being in Jade's position. How did she react?
Chris was proud of where he came from but insecure about it when it comes to bringing women he met on The Bachelor there, and Jade knows this.
"Don't feel bad about where you love to be. It is enough. Be proud of it," Jade says after watching his high school football game ... and kissing in its hallways.
Her prospects look awfully good at the start, but her Playboy past is hanging over her head - and triggering about 20 million Google searches this week.
"This could end my relationship with him," Jade said, opening up to Carly about the fact that she did nude modeling for the magazine back in the day.
"I feel like it's something I need to be honest with him about because I want him to find out from me first," the Nebraska native added, and she's right.
What she's not necessarily right about is that it was a "mistake."
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Sure, she can feel that it was personally, and likely regrets it, but if Chris judges her over something like that (he won't), he doesn't deserve her anyway.
While Chris and Whitney Bischoff had a one-on-one date in Des Moines, the other four girls (sans Jade) road tripped it to Arlington. They just had to see it.
They blinked and nearly missed it.
Britt said that she couldn't imagine living there, which she pretty much told Chris after they revealed their impromptu trip, but tried to put a nice spin on it.
However, Carly was insistent that Britt was lying to Chris and decided to rat her out, which may speak more to Carly's own insecurities than Britt's.
Carly told Prince Farming her theory about Britt Nilsson, but Chris did not immediately confront a la Kelsey Poe from last week. He can be taught!
Asking Britt what she thought about Arlington, Chris attempted to draw it out of her, but she was either a really good liar or more fair about it than Carly said.
"There was definitely a shock factor," Britt said. "But you're not choosing the town like you are choosing the lifestyle. It's part of you, and we're choosing you."
She then added that she wants to be a mom no matter where she lives, and they made out a lot. So things looked good for Britt ... for the time being.
Kaitlyn Bristowe, meanwhile, was feeling insecure about her bond with Chris, and opened up about this, only to receive a group date rose as assurance!
This sent Britt - already slowly becoming unglued over the fact that these other women were still in her field of vision - over the edge. It was painful.
The girls think she's going home after the epic meltdown she has. Are they right?
We'll find out this evening when this TWO-NIGHT EVENT continues!
Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue a relationship with, either of his final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured).
In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.
Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.
Bob Guiney did not propose to Estella Gardinier, but gave her a promise ring indicating that they would still date รข€¦ for like a month it turned out.
The first-ever Bachelor, Alex Michel did not propose to Amanda Marsh, but instead they entered into a relationship which ended after a few months. His runner-up Trista Rehn was featured on the first season of The Bachelorette, where she met, then married, Ryan Sutter.
Lorenzo Borghese did not propose to Jennifer Wilson, and it's a good thing too, because their short-lived relationship ended in January 2007, just a month or two after his season finale.
Andrew Firestone got engaged to Jen Schefft, but it lasted only a couple of months. She went on to star as The Bachelorette, where her breakup came even faster.
Jake Pavelka chose Vienna Girardi with his final rose on The Bachelor. By the time The Bachelorette aired a few months later, the two had broken up in epic fashion ... and this interview with Chris Harrison shows you why.
Tessa Horst and Andy Baldwin called off their engagement one month after the finale, but continued their relationship for a few more months before breaking up for good.
Nikki Ferrell somehow stuck it out with Juan Pablo Galavis for over six months, despite him not proposing or telling her he loved her or showing any redeeming qualities whatsoever quite frankly.
Charlie O'Connell chose Sarah Brice, but did not propose. They began dating, but broke up in September 2007 ... then got back together in 2008 before splitting for good in 2010. So this was moderately successful by the show's low standards.
Ben Flajnik and Courtney Robertson originally broke up in February 2012 while their season was airing. However, they were later reconciled and got engaged for the second time, but broke up again in October 2012 for good.
Byron Velvick and Mary Delgado were together for five years, but never married ... and were involved in some domestic altercations that somewhat marred what could have been a fairy tale success story.
Sean Lowe, who wooed Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette and was heartbroken to be let go, went on to marry Catherine Giudici a year after meeting her on The Bachelor. The two just celebrated their one-year anniversary!
Technically, Jason Mesnick and his final rose recipient, Melissa Rycroft, broke off their engagement almost immediately, but because he got back with runner-up Molly Malaney in his now-infamous After the Final Rose switch-up, and has been with her ever since, we're giving him the benefit of the doubt. Jason and Molly have been happily married for years and have a daughter together!
The End.
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