With apologies to Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, the dragon that revealed itself on Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episode 21 had no interest in retiring.
Only in causing some major problems.
On the latest installment of this ABC drama, via flashback, Cora returned from Wonderland, intent on making peace with Regina.
However, once she learned of that "married, moralizing sap" Robin Hood, she invited him to masquerade as Regina's soulmate.
But it didn't take long for Regina to discover his ink was fake, nor for her to enact revenge against her mother by taking a potion that ensures she'll never be a "baby mill" for her parent. Still, Cora insists she trull did want her child to be happy.
In Storybrooke, meanwhile, things got totes cray cray, as you can note for yourself when you watch Once Upon a Time online.
Back from their East Coast road trip, Regina locked up Zelena and schemed to have the Author rewrite her sibling's story.
First, though, his ink needed to be "charged" by the dark energy of the Savior, which Regina was able to accomplish… by slashing the hand of Lily at a bus stop.
This didn't sit well with Lily, who went ahead and transformed herself into a dragon. She proceed to clobber Snow White with her tail, only for Emma to show up and use her magic to make this wound go away. She then forgave her parents.
Elsewhere, Maleficent found a human Lily and handed her the rattle she has kept all these years.
The latter was moved by her mother's openness and explained that she has always "let down" anyone who has ever tried to look out for her because "darkness is serious business."
However, Maleficent convinces her to stick around a week and get some tips on being a "scary dragon bitch."
Let's return to Zelena's padded room: Regina tells her the plan to have the Author write her sister into extinction, unborn baby and all.
But when Zelena's compares Regina to their mother (who also made a baby go away, remember) Regina thought better.
She instead declared that she has everything that she wants - and that doesn't just mean a lover. Rather, her happy ending is "feeling at home in the world," and Robin is merely one part of that. Talk about progress, huh?
The Author, though, is anxious to do some rewriting.
So if he can't do it for the character he felt had been "screwed over the most," he'll go ahead and do it for his other bidder.
Therefore, he writes himself into Mr. Gold's shop, where Rumpelstiltskin (whose final bit of self is fading away, which will leave behind nothing but The Dark One) starts dictating the first lines of a new storybook, titled Heroes & Villains.
How will it go? Get your first look at the Once Upon a Time Season 4 finale and ponder possible answers to that question:
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