A day after NBC suspended Brian Williams for six months (without pay) due to the anchor having lied about his experience covering the Iraq War, Charlie Sheen has taken to Twitter with a classic rant in defense of the journalist.
It's been way too long since The Warlock sounded off in such a manner...
Addressing Williams directly, Sheen pens what amounts to an open letter and begins with:
"Sorry to bother you during this most surreal, unjust and mercurial moment in your awesome life.
"First off, THANK YOU, for 24 years of inimitable professionalism and top shelf brilliance, as a stone cold passion driven and (PERFECTLY) fact based journalist."
With sources also alleging Williams lied about some coverage of Hurricane Katrina, some may take issue with just how "PERFECTLY" his facts have been covered.
Sorry, though. Carry on, Charlie!
"Secondly, Thank you "squared" for delivering not only the news on a nightly basis, (PERFECTLY) to myself and my family.
"But for every other person alive, (with a TV) who relied and still do,on your poetic, insightful and NOBLE sacrifices,that made our longest nights shorter, and our shortest nights safer. You good sir, are a hero in my Entire Library."
The former Two and a Half Men star then brought it home as only he can:
"Lastly; you are clearly the victim of a transparent and vile witch hunt! Erroneously "staged" by hooligans, non coms, cowards and oligarchs, who's only desperate and hideous goal is to discredit the genius that they relied on for almost 3 decades!
"Now and forever you are a true Patriot and a Hero of mine until the day i leave this star crossed imperfect Rock we call Earth…
"Mr W: respect love hi 5's and refuge! (if you need it!) I remain humbly and on dangerous standby at your service…."
Sheen signed his letter "I am... the MaSheen." Because of course he did, right?
What do you think of Sheen's extreme praise for Williams? Do you agree that Brian Williams is a heroic patriot? Or does he actually deserve to be fired for his actions?
In 1991, Charlie and some friends contacted the FBI about what they believed to be a footage of actual murders. Turns out it was just a Japanese horror film.
Charlie Brown, the Cincinatti Reds, death threats to ex -wives...what do these thigs have in common? They're all immortalized on Charlie Sheen's body in tattoo form! Speaking of threatening to kill people...
Charlie has threatened to kill people ranging from his ex-wives to his former bosses on several occasions. You or I might go to jail for something like that, but we're not warlocks.
Sheen "accidentally" shot John Travolta's wife while they were dating in the early 90s. Needless to say, the relationship dissolved shortly thereafter.
Charlie Sheen thought he would be a good mentor to Lindsay Lohan (ed. note: HAHAHAHA!). In fact he kept mentioning the idea in interviews until the troubled actress reportedly begged Charlie to stop talking about her.
Charlie and Bret formed a film production company in the 90s. The two even co-wrote and co-directed a film entitled No Code of Conduct. Sadly, it's hard to find a DVD copy.
According to Sheen, he and Rihanna were dining in the same restaurant when he sent a request for her to come over and meet his wife. She declined and ended up becoming the subject of one of Sheen's epic Twitter rants. RiRi responded by calling Sheen an "old queen."
One of Charlie's first big roles was Mitch "Wild Thing" Vaughn in the 1989 comedy Major League. Turns out Charlie dodn't have to do much research for the part. Not only was he already a wild thing, he'd spent several summers at an exclusive baseball camp and a coach who worked with him told ESPN Sheen could've gone pro.
Charlie and the big-haired Jersey Shore star have been spotting hanging out on multiple occasions. They were recently seen bro-ing down at one of Pauly's gigs in Boston.
In the late 80s, an up-and-coming actress naed Winona Horowitz was struggling to come up with a stage name. Sheen suggested Ryder after listening to The Doors' song "Riders on the Storm." Ryder confirms the story, but Sheen continues to gripe that she hasn't diven him enough credit.
Charlie Sheen was on screen for about 3 minutes in the 80s comedy classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Even so, he stayed up for two days to achieve the proper "strung out" look for his character. Now he has that look all the time.
Bree Olson is one of the many porn stars Sheen has dated. She said he absolutley rocked her world in bed. High praise coming from someone as experienced as Bree.
The End.
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