We love us some Deena Nicole Cortese, but wow. Just wow.
As the final season of Jersey Shore plays out on MTV, we got to relive one of the past summer's most notable highlights from Seaside - her drunken daytime arrest.
Did the episode do justice to our heightened expectations?
Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!
First things first, and we pick up after last week's brawl at Bamboo, where Jenni was tossed to the ground by her crazy boyfriend (now fiance) Roger Mathews.
JWoww, who was trying to break up the right, tries to smooth things over by saying she's sure he didn't know it was her. His response? "I recognized you the entire time."
Gotta love a man who's honest at least! Plus 10.
A little less funny? JWoww has a FRACTURE in her foot and needed to see a bone specialist to decide whether or not she'd need a cast or boot. Idiots fighting. Minus 90.
On the plus side? Sympathy drinks! Plus 15.
Fun fact: Snooki is 4'8" ... 4'8"! Plus 48.
The guys felt that JWoww was milking her injury and being a lil' overdramatic, but she had a note to prove it, and could kick their asses anyway, so Plus 12.
Snooki sighting at Karma! Pregnancy schmegnancy! Plus 10.
Uncle Nino sighting at Karma! Even less expected! Plus 20.
Mike started getting annoyed by drunk people at the club. Amazing how that happens when you are no longer one of the annoying drunk people at the club. Minus 15.
Fortunately, his "ride or die chick" Paula came by at 5 a.m. to "calm him down." Ah, the wonders of hand and oral relief. Wife her up, Sitch. Wife her up. Plus 50.
On to the best part. The next day, Deena continued to hold "meatball auditions" but no one was able to hang. She's just in a drunken league of her own. Minus 25.
Soon enough? She's BAWLING because she misses Snook. Minus 25.
And dancing with total strangers at a bar and falling over. Minus 25.
Probably for the good of the community and the meatball herself, the police arrested Deena Nicole Cortese for dancing in the streets and blocking traffic.
She got off with a citation, fine and warning. Well done D! Plus 25.
EPISODE TOTAL: +85! SEASON TOTAL: +180!
Jersey Shore ...
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