Brace yourself: Tila Tequila is now someone's mother. We'll give you a moment to question the meaning of existence.
Yes, we knew Tila was pregnant, because she's documented pretty much every second of the last nine months.
We may have even witnessed the conception in the form of the Tila Tequila sex tape, but that doesn't make the notion of this woman raising a child any less mind-blowing.
Fortunately, in an encouraging sign for the future, Ms. Tequila opted not to pass her boozy surname onto her daughter, and the girl will instead be known as Isabella Monroe Nguyen.
(Yes, we know you're shocked that Tila is one of those women who fancies herself some sort of Marilyn Monroe figure.)
We're not surprised that Tila chose to give her daughter her own (actual) last name, because as far as anyone can tell, she has no idea who the father is.
It was initially believed to be a man named Thomas Paxton Whitaker, but after an ugly breakup, Tila now denies that he's the father.
Of course, this is the same woman who - in the recent past - has faked a suicide attempt, faked a pregnancy, and faked a miscarriage, so we think it's safe to say her relationship with the truth is shaky at best, and there's a good chance Whitaker is the father.
Whatever the case, we hope Tila has some sort of decent support network in place, because the idea of this woman raising a kid on her own is too terrifying to contemplate.
But anyway, congrats!
Tila Tequila is ready to take it. She lies back here in a still image from her second sex tape.
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