In the past, Taylor Swift news items had mostly fallen into the "quirky and cute" category, like when Taylor showed her belly button last week.
Unfortunately, now that Swifty has gone from just wildly successful singer-songwriter to full-blown queen of the modern music industry, more shady figures from her past and lone nut jobs who probably never met her are coming forward claiming they've got the dirt.
Last week, Taylor's guitar teacher came forward with some not-so-scandalous revelations. (Her parents fought! She enjoyed Taco Bell as a chubby pre-teen!)
Now, a convicted child pornographer named Jose Hilario is claiming that Taylor stole his life story as the inspiration for her 1989 album...and he just can't shake it off (sorry), in fact, he wants $100 million!
Hilario doesn't provide much in the way of details as to what aspects of his life Taylor stole for her songs, but we'll just assume he's a fashionable bajillionaire who briefly dated Harry Styles.
Just kidding - he's actually a 42-year-old pedo who claims that he first met Taylor when she was 18 and they formed a deep, spiritual bond that the rest of us will just never understand.
"My heart hurts," Hilario says in his lawsuit, adding that Taylor promised she would "help him with his legal problems and that she would write and sing songs about him."
Hilario says she didn't make good on her promise to sing about him or make help with his legal fees. Instead, she just stole elements of his life story for her obviously autobiographical album, and now he wants to get paid!
Sucks that she never made good on the promise that she made in this dude's diseased brain, but in fairness, Taylor had a lot of other guys to sing about.
Jake Gyllenhaal allegedly took Taylor Swift's v-card, then dumped her via text. TEXT.
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