Gotcha! If you paused the opening moments of True Detective Season 2 Episode 3, you could probably hear showrunner Nic Pizzolatto celebrating one of the great fake-outs in recent TV history.
Last week, we were led to believe that Detective Ray Velcoro (Colin Farrell) had been murdered - shot dead by a bird-masked assailant who finished the deed with a point-blank coup de grace that seemed to all but ensure that Velcoro's number was up.
This week, we learned that not only is Velcoro still alive, he's scarcely injured.
It's a relief that all the hubbub over Farrell's casting wasn't just a red herring disguised as PR, but it's hard to remember a time when a highly-regarded "prestige" series has required such suspension of disbelief.
When we first see Velcoro, he's in some David Lynch fever dream version of his usual watering hole, complete with Elvis impersonator and personified daddy issues.
(This is the second episode in a row to open with a character reflecting on a tempestuous relationship with his father. Maybe father-son relationships will prove to be important this season. Or maybe Pizzolatto is just messing with us again.)
Many fans no doubt assumed we were getting an other-worldly glimpse of Velcoro in the afterlife. Thankfully, the show didn't execute that sort of epic shark-jump, and we cut to Velcoro awakening on the floor, his injuries limited to the symbolic ("heartache" from a bruised sternum) and ego-bruise varieties. ("I pissed myself," he notes with grizzled resignation.)
Velcoro explains that the assailant hadn't intended to kill him and pointedly notes that the gun was loaded with the kind of ammo "cops use" to subdue unruly crowds.
Again, it's hard to buy for a number of reasons (Why would the Bird Man bother with the point-blank shot if he knew he was using crowd-control ammo?), but most of all because the atmosphere of gritty realism that Pizzolatto has established over the past season-and-almost-a-half doesn't allow for such eye-roll-inducing twists.
But enough about that. There were plenty of other far-fetched developments in what's proving to be a wildly entertaining, yet frequently hard-to-swallow season of TV's most confounding show:
There's also plenty more heavy-handed symbolism, as Vince Vaughn's Frank Seymon struggles to get it up in order to provide a semen (Like his name! Get it?!) sample for his wife's IVF treatment.
The phallic imagery continues as Woodrugh (Taylor Kitsch) becomes the latest to complain about Bezzerides' (Rachel McAdams) E-cig. The only woman on the show is obsessed with knives and constantly fiddles with her vape pen. Hmmm...
Yeah, subtlety is not TD's strong suit, but sometimes that's half the fun.
Such is the case when Woodrugh and Bezzerides pay an unexpected visit to Mayor Chessani's house and find his slinky Euro-trash wife and stoned, half-nude son engaging in a private scenery-chewing session.
Sometimes, however, a little subtlety would go a long way, such as when Woodrugh is confronted by his Army buddy/ex-gay lover. Like a bad SNL sketch, the scene bludgeons you with it's purpose and overstays its welcome by a crucial minute or two.
There was so much crammed into "Maybe Tomorrow" that it's hard to believe Pizzolatto and company were able to fit it all into 60 minutes.
One of Frank's men is murdered as he slips back into casual gangsterism, and for the first time, someone actually posits a theory about who might have killed Caspere.
We're not even halfway through the season, though, so you can assume Frank's speculation is meant to throw us off the trail. (Or is it?)
There's a visit to a movie set and a run-in with a douchey filmmaker who bears a striking resemblance to Cary Fukunaga - the up-and-coming auteur who directed every episode of season one before allegedly having a falling out with Pizzolatto.
It's a low blow by Pizzolatto, but just as importantly, it's a needless distraction in what's otherwise the show's most tightly-plotted episode to date.
Woodrugh lashes out at his ex-lover; Bezzerides kicks her clueless hookup partner to the curb; and Velcoro turns down a bribe to surrender custody to his son - all in the episode's final third.
We think themes are being summarized and things will wrap up quietly, but in yet another twist involving masked man (a more believable one this time) Bezzerides and Velcoro are brought closer by their failed pursuit of a fleeing car-arsonist (carsonist?).
We didn't even mention the absorbing cross-cut that shows Bezzerides and Velcoro being pitted against one another by their respective bosses, or Velcoro's real-life encounter with his stoner dad, who proves surprisingly likable before tossing out some casual bigotry.
Like we said, it was an awful lot to cram into one mid-season episode, and most of it had little to do with the season's central mysteries of who killed Caspere and why?
With just five episodes remaining, the show has more plot threads hanging loose than ever before, and the real question for fans is: Will Pizzolatto be able to wrap things up in a fashion that's more universally satisfying than last season's divisive finale?
As always, you can watch True Detective online at TV Fanatic to get caught up, or parse through the details and do a little true detecting of your own.
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