Florida man Geoff Gaylord reportedly turned himself in to Jacksonville Sherriff's officials for murder ... and the "victim" was his imaginary friend.
Gaylord, 37, told officers he had stabbed "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up the body with a hatchet and buried the victim in his backyard.
He said the two had been friends for seven years and remorsefully added that he deserved the death penalty, preferably, "right now."
As for why he did Happy in?
"His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls," Gaylord told police. "He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen."
"Never left the toilet seat down when he peed. He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean."
Before "Hap" started doing drugs and "acting weird," Gaylord reportedly lamented, "he was my BFF (best friend forever)."
"We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal ... listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."
Gradually, they drifted apart, stopped communicating as well as they once did, and had a falling out over a birthday celebration.
One which resulted in Mr. Gaylord being arrested for DUI after reveling at Hooters instead of Mr. Happy, who he claims was responsible.
"That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."
"It was an overreaction. I should have listened and got us into counseling, but no, I did the unthinkable and killed my best friend."
"I'm a terrible, terrible person and I need to be punished."
Police said Gaylord was very intoxicated and threatened to kill police after they told him they could not give him the death penalty.
Despite not executing him on the spot, he was booked on multiple charges pending a hearing; Bail has not been set as of this report.
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