In case you missed last week's episode (and avoided all forms of media for the past week), the big twist that shocked absolutely no one finally went down on Game of Thrones.
Yes, Jon Snow is alive and...not well exactly, but he's doing alright for a guy who got stabbed a few dozen times and woke up to find that someone gave him a summer bob cut while he was out.
The aftermath of the Lord Commander's resurrection could've been a shark jump moment for the show, but creators D.B. Weiss and David Benioff kept the tone sufficiently dark (What did Jon see while he was dead? "Nothing.") while at the same time conveying the astonished joy of the moment.
(It's nice to see an emotion displayed at the Wall other than seething, bloodthirsty rage.)
Hell, they even delivered a little comic relief with a well-timed dick joke. (This still Game of Thrones, after all.)
All-in-all it was a deftly handled sequence following a "twist" so anti-climactic it was lampooned in an SNL sketch this week.
As Jon readjusts to life among the living, Sam and Gilly are sailing the high seas in low fashion.
Sam's headed for the Citadel; Gilly (much to her surprise) is bound for his childhood home.
An odd choice, considering everything we've heard about how terrible Sam's upbringing was, but hey - at least his mom is nice?
After that, we get to a scene that Thrones fans (or Throners, as we like to call them) have been awaiting since the R + L = J theory first started circulating around the nerdier corners of the web.
Unfortunately, like Bran in warg form, we get stopped short just as we're about to learn the truth about what really happened to Ned Stark's "kidnapped" sister Lyanna.
Frustrating, yes, but at least there was a badass sword fight first.
Speaking of throwback moments, remember when Daenerys noshed on that stallion's heart in Season One?
The most badass of the Dothraki widows does, but that doesn't mean she'll let the Khaleesi go!
Instead, her storyline continues to inch forward at a glacial pace, as we cut to another casual demonstration of power from Varys, who uses his powers of persuasion to procure some information about the rebellion against Dany and her army.
Meanwhile, Tyrion tells Missandei and Grey Worm, "The history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms," but it's also a history of power struggles that turn into badass battles, which seems to be what's about to go down in Meereen.
Back in King's Landing, Qyburn is using Varys' tactics (and a little help from the terrifying hulk that is the undead Ser Gregor) to gather the necessary information to justify "crushing the High Sparrow's head like a grape." (They're a poetic lot, those Lannisters.)
Elsewhere, King Tommen is taking a more direct approach by confronting the Sparrow - and succumbing to his weird, sanctimonious brand of intimidation.
That's followed by more of the ugly side of religion (Is there any other side in Westeros?), as Arya gets beaten into telling her life story - a scene that somewhat heavy-handedly underscores the fact that this episode is all about coming to grips with the past.
We'll let you come to your own conclusions about how doing so literally opens Arya's eyes.
After that, get more blasts from the Stark family's past as Rickon and Osha resyrface in the most unfortunate of places.
Sure, it's Winterfell - but it's now under control of the new acting Warden of the North, Ramsay Bolton.
It's doubtful, but hopefully he'll show the boy more mercy than Jon showed Ollie (who totally had it coming) when he executes the lad along with the rest of his attempted assassins.
No surprise there - but we finally get a real Jon-related twist when he handed his cloak over to Dolorous Edd and resigned from the Night's Watch.
Phew. Yet another jam-packed episode with a sky-high body count.
We're still on the edge of our seats, but we can't help but wonder how much longer can the show keep up this pace.
Watch Game of Thrones online to try to make sense of everything that's happened thus far in Season Six.
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