Emergency room physicians often see patients who have stuck unusual things in unusual places. There's even a show called Sex Sent Me to the ER.
This one was a doozy even for that classy program, though, and threw Dr. Roger Goldenberg and his wife, Nurse Wendy Goldenberg, for a loop.
A woman came into the Kansas hospital where they work complaining about the pain in her nether regions caused by a vibrator she had deployed.
Wendy Goldenberg assumed that the woman's vibrator could only be stuck in the vagina or the anus. Well, it turns out that's not entirely accurate ...
"When [the patient] said, 'Neither one,' I knew there was something out of the ordinary," Wendy said of her patient. "She said, 'It's where I urinate.'"
"There is a little hole that's your urethra, and your urine comes out of it," she went on, recalling the strange exchange. "I said 'That's really impossible.'"
Was it, though?
The woman's boyfriend insisted that his girlfriend was telling the truth. During sex, a pinky-sized vibrator slipped out of his finger and went up the urethra.
Roger Goldenberg was still skeptical, telling them, "[The urethra] can stretch out a little bit, but not as a general rule. Not that much. Not that much."
"There is no way this happened," his wife said as she ordered x-rays. "She probably has it in her vaginal area and it just feels like it's somewhere else."
Roger started examining the woman's pelvic area, though, and all of a sudden, "I start performing the exam and the speculum starts vibrating in the hand."
"You could feel it vibrating."
Sure enough ... bladder.
"I couldn't believe it!" he said.
Wendy Goldenberg points out that kidney stones, which themselves are only 3 to 5 millimeters wide, are big enough to cause severe pain in that area.
Just imagine what this was like. "So to realize that a vibrator went up the urethra? That has got to be be severely painful for the poor gal," she said.
To put it mildly.
Nothing will get you fired up than a cute girl posing on the throne with a roll of two-ply.
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