Sean Penn is obviously still recovering from his divorce with ex-wife Robin Wright after three years. He calls it a fraud in the new issue of Esquire.
The Gangster Squad actor opens up his struggle to understand the concept of marriage, especially after going through two heartbreaking splits.
Penn was also married to Madonna from 1985-1989.
"There is no shame in saying that we all want to be loved by someone," he reveals.
"As I look back over my life in romance, I don't feel I've ever had that. I have been the only one that was unaware of the fraud in a few of these circumstances blindly."
Penn continues to explain that he didn't know the truth about his relationship, presumably with Wright, until it was over.
"When you get divorced, all the truths that come out, you sit there and you go, 'What the f**k was I doing? What was I doing believing that this person was invested in this way?' Which is a fantastically strong humiliation in the best sense," he adds. "It can make somebody very bitter and very hard and closed off, but I find it does the opposite to me."
Penn, who has two children with Wright -- daughter Dylan, 21, and son Hopper, 19 -- is also struggling with co-parenting, admitting that being a father to two adults is difficult at times.
Hopper had to have emergency brain surgery after a horrific skateboarding accident, and Penn says it left him in a daze.
"When he was recovering, seeing the morphine go into him and give him relief created kind of a love affair for me with morphine and that usage of it," Penn confesses. "It had already been eight months of divorce and s
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