"He's being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love." - Carolyn Moos on Jason Collins.
In a melancholy yet pointed essay for Cosmopolitan, the former fiancee of the first openly gay NBA player speaks out and tells her side of the story.
As has been previously reported and Carolyn Moos recalls again, the basketball star gave her no explanation when he called off their wedding in 2009.
In April 2013, he called her to explain that he's gay before publicly coming out, but she says she's frustrated he hasn't discussed it further with her.
"I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority," was one reaction.
The former WNBA player adds that she has finally moved on from Collins, including freezing her eggs, something she wishes she had done before.
She "had put it off because there was some seed of hope that Jason might come back to me," meaning that April phone call must have been very awkward.
Despite the pain she felt when she learned Jason Collins is gay, she empathizes, saying she "can't imagine what it's like to go through" what he has.
"I don't know what it's like to wear a mask for 34 years. It's sad that society puts that kind of pressure on a person. I also understand the macho stereotypes men face in the NBA."
"I ran up against a reverse stereotype in the WNBA."
"People said I was too 'feminine' to be a pro player. I quickly proved them wrong, showing that my nail polish and dresses had nothing to do with my ability to compete on the court."
"I empathize with Jason and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him. I wish he could have been honest with me years ago."
"I feel like there are two Jasons now," his ex-fiancee laments, introspectively, "the man I fell in love with and the man I'm trying so hard to understand."
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