The Real Housewives of New Jersey is back and "Hair We Go Again" with the bad hair and worse singing. We recap the need for a better hair weave and the purple pimp hat in our THG +/- review.
There were so many things that were just bad in this episode, like this outfit of Teresa's...
I'm not sure we'll have space to share them all. But let's try.
We'll start off with Melissa Gorga. No, her hair is good. It's her singing that needs work. Lots of work. Minus 15 because listening to her vocal exercises was just downright painful.
But hubby Joe Gorga doesn't hear one off note or off key moment. To his ears his wife has the voice of "an angel from God." Plus 20 It must be love…or he needs his hearing checked. One or the other.
That vocal coach pulled out every trick he knew and all Melissa could say was, "at least I know the words." Minus 18.
The sad part is that there are very talented singers out their clamoring for their shot…and we've got housewives who can barely remember the lyrics on our screens.
If anyone out there has any suggestions on how to get the Real Housewives to STOP SINGING, I'd love to hear from you. Someone needs to stop this madness.
Moving on…Kathy and Richie Wakilie get their son a new Jeep for his birthday. When Kathy points out that the Champagne balloon on the car might be inappropriate (i.e. promoting drinking and driving) Richie tells her, "Don't you like have a cannoli to fill. Leave us having fun by ourselves."
Minus 30. Heaven forbid there be one grown up in the family. Every week I like Richie less and less.
Oh, but he's not done yet. Crowing about the great gift, he tells his son, "I just extended your penis by two inches, instantly."
I can't even comment on that one. I'm done here.
The Manzo boys finally open Little Town restaurant and all went well but I have one question. Ketchup on rice balls? Ew…Minus 10.
Teresay Giudice has a sit down with Victoria Gotti and all I can say is WTH is Tre wearing?!?
The purple outfit with the huge hat had me reliving flashbacks of that 1970s cop show Starsky & Hutch. Tre suddenly reminded me of the pimp, Huggy Bear with that outfit. Hell, that just earned her a plus 25. How often is something outrageous enough to remind you of Huggy Bear?
Oh goody. Kim D. is back and Posche is expanding to Posche II. Minus 50.
Do Kim D. and Penny have the same stylist because the look is just bad, Ladies. Nothing but bad. And did someone say Penny was a hair stylist? Did she put in her own extensions…while blindfolded? Minus 40.
When you think the picture can't get any worse, she opens her mouth.
Jacqueline Laurita confronts Penny about some horrible Tweets about little Nicholas. Penny's response, "I love autistic children. I taught autism."
I taught autism? Can someone break out the Housewives to English translator on this one because I'm lost. Minus 33.
Then Melissa dives in and gets Penny to say that Teresa started the rumors about her cheating. This time, Penny says it in front of Teresa.
But at this point, can you believe anything that comes out of Penny's mouth? She's changed her story so many times, who can keep up?
And are you ready for the season finale? After a full season of nothing but zen healing and therapeutic bonding, will it all be blown apart once again at a Kim D. event?
Check back in next week to find out whose left with their hair extensions intact on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Episode total = -151! Season total = -624!
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