"This chick is like a chess master. But instead of chess pieces, they're dudes and the end game is total destruction." - Tanner on Samantha.
"She's got two options: Either she can be lovey dovey on me and we can get engaged, or she can crash and burn." - Joe on Samantha.
Yes, these are real quotes from Bachelor in Paradise Season 2 Episode 8.
With the spurned, dumped Joe Bailey out for revenge against Samantha Steffen - but clearly still pining for her - what would the fallout be?
After he threatened to expose her role in their grand texting scheme ... that didn't really work either. But at least Joe bonded with Ashley I.
Yes, Joe Bailey and Kardashley, an unlikely pair of allies in Paradise.
If there's one person more devastated than Joe, it's Ash, who claims she has been "ruined, for like, ever" 'cause Jared broke up with her.
Quite honestly and respectfully, we might add. But still. Crushing.
Joe, meanwhile, was off the rails, alternating between trying to woo Samantha and threatening to out her for scheming prior to filming.
One or the other. Hence the quote above ... he'll take either option!
Meanwhile, Juelia - the rejected cog in the Joe-Samantha Steffen love machine - went on a date with Mikey and the unexpected couple hit it off.
They stayed in the same suite, but "kept it classy." Apparently.
Back at the Bachelor and Bachelorette castoff hut, Ashley I. told Joe to approach Samantha and introduce himself, going for a "literal fresh start."
Even funnier than the fact that this was a real suggestion?
He tried it! And the look on her face was the opposite of impressed ... it's almost hard to describe how little Sam wanted to be there at that instant.
It got better, too. Right then, Justin from Kaitlyn's season of The Bachelorette arrived, and proceeded to ask out Samantha, who said yes. DAMN!
Joe's response? Whining something about being a fool, her being out of his league, and pathetically asking for a hug as she peaced.
Amazing.
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