Kids. They say the darndest things, whether they're aware of it or not.
Even when they're not asked to say all the bad words they know, the small humans who live with us come up with some true gems, day in and day out.
Equally hilarious? Some of the parents who relay these experiences.
We're grateful for children and the joy they bring to our lives, and equally appreciative of the effort parents put in (as well as the technology that connects us).
If it weren't for Twitter, moms and dads would obviously get by just fine, but it's much easier these days to connect with others to commiserate or spread the love.
Click below to laugh/cry along with them in 140 characters or less.
1. Sex Ed
That would be an interesting item on the course curriculum.
3. PARK!
Great moments in safe words.
4. Just Pretending?
[nods]
5. 82 Percent
That may be conservative.
6. Fingers Smell Like ...
... you can guess, and if you're a parent, relate.
7. Circle the Block a Few Times?
If only ...
8. Close Enough
Eh, clothes are clothes.
10. You Don't Want to Know
You really don't.
11. I'll Tell on You
They start early.
12. Fetch!
You know you do it.
13. Were You Born With Those?
It's a fair question.
14. RRP5D
Sounds about right.
15. Cheap Babysitter
Next time you complain about your cable bill, just consider the real potential.
16. Sticks or ...
They do sound similar.
17. Suave 2 in 1
Hey, whatever works.
18. Can You Skip That?
If only.
19. Used Food
Ick. Who wants that.
20. Tolerance
Must be taught early.
21. Rabies
Shares similar symptoms with fatigue.
22. Whine and Wine
Oh, how those words are intertwined.
23. Dad of the Year
It's a go-to.
24. Consensual Massage
Lessons all kids must understand.
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