Last night on WE tv, the king of Friday reality programming, Marriage Boot Camp Season 2 Episode 1 turned five celebrity couples over to Jim and Elizabeth Carroll.
The relationship drill sergeants' goal? Fix these troubled marriages, STAT! Ten-HUT!
The twosomes in need of assistance on Marriage Boot Camp Season 2 Episode 1:
- Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
- Aviva and Reid Drescher
- Natalie Nunn and Jacob Payne
- Tyson Apostol and Rachel Foulger
- Syleena Johnson and Kiwane Garris
Yeah. If you haven't heard of most or all of these couples, we do not blame you.
In fact, we sort of envy you. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were omnipresent on THG for years, but the rest of these pairs, we know a lot less about.
When you watch Marriage Boot Camp online, you will predictably discover that things aren't going great for them these days, for a variety of reasons ...
Syleena and Kiwane are a blank slate to us. She seems resentful that he retired from the NBA early, based on the results of the lie detector questions.
Kiwane appears very quiet and doesn't really voice his emotions ... not that Syleena will let him get a word in edgewise before cutting him off altogether.
Maybe she just loves to hear herself talk.
Natalie and Jacob appear to be angry, scared of one another, and totally distrustful. Always a winning combo for a marriage that stands the test of time.
She tells him not to take his shirt off on TV. She proceeded to try to break the Internet, Kim Kardashian style, with butt selfies. Belfies if you will.
Because that makes sense you guys.
Tyson and Rachel are in a familiar position to many couples. Rachel wants to get married, Tyson does not, otherwise they would not be on this show.
Guy seems content to do his own thing, which is the sort of line you give someone when you break up, not for putting off getting engaged or married.
This a six and a half year relationship.
Aviva and Reid are struggling with the fact that her Bravo stardom - remember when Aviva Drescher threw her leg? - is really putting a strain on their family.
He doesn't want to have another baby together as a result, and he feels that negative press she's getting is not good for their marriage or their family.
Aviva seems less concerned. Shocker.
These were the days, when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt used to just pose for pictures and stir up trouble on The Hills. Nowadays it's kind of gone to $h!t.
Spencer and Heidi are in a class by themselves, filled with drama and theatrics, demanding attention and apologies for who even knows what.
They must be something to deal with.
When Jim called them out on "faking it" for The Hills cameras, which they 100 percent did, Spencer is incredulous, and he makes Heidi frustrated.
Clearly, Speidi does not understand how Marriage Boot Camp works, or they're pretending not to just to cause their own particular brand of drama.
He did admit that he misses being famous. Either way, they feel like they're being attacked when really they're not, and it's kind of awkward to watch.
Even more than the gallery above.
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