Farrah Abraham has just announced a new erotic romance trilogy. You cannot make this stuff up. Its title? Celebrity Sex Tape. We are dead serious.
The novels are loosely based on Abraham's own rise to stardom and the recent scandal that put the Teen Mom under intense public scrutiny in 2013.
By "scandal," the publisher means the Farrah Abraham porn movie she signed up to do and tried to pass off as a leaked private sex tape. Just FYI.
Book One: In The Making is due out in July 2014. Cannot. WAIT.
"In The Making reveals the truth about 'being in the limelight' as a young celebrity," Abraham says. "Writing this series was like therapy for me."
"Fallon's story follows what I've gone through recently, much of it witnessed and misunderstood by the public," she adds, seemingly without irony.
"Book One is an entertaining and sexually charged novel, but it's also an inside look at the underside of being a reality TV star that everyone else can relate to."
Girl knows a thing or two about the underside, no question about it.
Previously, the Teen Mom star has released a New York Times bestseller, memoir My Teenage Dream Ended, which sold more than 500,000 copies.
More recently, Abraham was a cast member on VH1 Couples Therapy, where she lied about being drugged and raped while promoting her sex tape.
1. Farrah 2: Backdoor and More Pic
Farrah Abraham in a still photo from Backdoor and More. As you can tell we've cropped it for obvious reasons.
2. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Cover
Farrah Abraham's sex tape cover. Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Classy title.
3. Farrah Abraham Topless Pic
This is a still from the Farrah Abraham sex tape. She says it's about more than just "anal."
4. Farrah Sex Tape Image
A photo of Farrah Abraham from her sex tape.
5. Farrah Sex Tape Shot
A shot from Farrah Abraham's sex tape. Lovely.
6. Farrah Sex Tape Photo
A scene from the Farrah Abraham sex tape. A lovely one, too.
7. Farrah Abraham in Bed
Another nice picture released by Vivid for Farrah Abraham's sex tape. She looks like she's having fun.
8. Farrah Abraham and James Deen
Farrah Abraham and James Deen share a passionate sex tape kiss. These two are so in love, you can tell.
9. Farrah Abraham Underwear Photo
Farrah Abraham in a pic from her sex tape. She's getting ready to do her thing.
10. Farrah Abraham O-Face
Farrah Abraham screaming for more from James Deen in her sex tape.
11. Farrah Abraham Showering
Farrah Abraham in the shower, getting ready for some sex tape fun.
12. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Pic
Farrah Abraham in a graphic still photo from her sex tape. Wow.
13. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Photo
Farrah Abraham in a still photo from her sex tape. Yikes.
14. Farrah 2: Backdoor and More Photo
Farrah Abraham is back with Farrah 2: Backdoor and More. This is a shot from her sex tape, the sequel.
15. Farrah Abraham Naked
Farrah Abraham nude in a new photo from part two of her sex tape.
16. Farrah Abraham Nude
Farrah Abraham gets nude and taken for a ride by James Deen in a photo from her sex tape sequel.
17. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape GIF
A quality GIF from the Farrah Abraham sex tape. Assist to James Deen for the quote.
18. Best Farrah Abraham GIF
Farrah Abraham says it all in this GIF. It just says it all, people.
19. James Deen Does Farrah Abraham
Farrah Abraham in her sex tape sequel, Backdoor & More, with James Deen. It looks like he's going front door up in here.
20. Farrah Sex Tape 2 Photo
Farrah Abraham in a still photo from her sex tape sequel, Backdoor & More. By the title we have no idea what the tape could contain.
21. Farrah 2: Sex Tape Sequel Pic
Farrah Abraham in her sex tape sequel. Backdoor & More features ... you get the idea.
In The Making introduces readers to budding celeb Fallon Opal.
When rumors begin circulating that Fallon has a sex tape, scandal erupts and the world's top media outlets are on the hunt for a story relentlessly.
Sound familiar? Where did she come up with that plot ...
Millions of people want to know the details, and the whirlwind sweeps Fallon into a struggle between living her own life and delivering what "they" expect.
But Fallon isn't all she appears to be. Her lonely lifestyle has led to a dirty mind and she aches for a human touch, time and time again. Deep stuff.
Celebrity Sex Tape is being released by Ellora's Cave, the world's first and foremost publisher of erotic romance. Will you be picking up a copy?!
Classic Farrah Abraham quotes we hope to see in the books:
[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.
- Permalink: Mom of the Year
- Added:
1. Mom of the Year
[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.
I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.
- Permalink: Sex Tape vs. Teen Mom
- Added:
2. Sex Tape vs. Teen Mom
I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having...
I feel like if I can't show my true self, and if I can't explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth. So if I feel like opening up a restaurant, opening up a gentlemen's club, opening up a children's clothing store, and doing songs, books, everything that I feel like doing, I'm going to do it. It suits me well.
- Permalink: It Suits Her
- Added:
3. It Suits Her
I feel like if I can't show my true self, and if I can't explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth....
I'm young, I'm 22, and I'm a single mom. On the flip side, I'm a very good mom. I work very hard. I'm probably one of the best parents you're ever gonna meet. That's who I am.
- Permalink: I Work HARD
- Added:
4. I Work HARD
I'm young, I'm 22, and I'm a single mom. On the flip side, I'm a very good mom. I work very hard. I'm probably one of the best parents...
I just want to bring great prices and better products to the world and be creative all at the same time, and I think that's what I'm good at business-wise. That's Farrah. If you know me, that's me.
- Permalink: Better Products
- Added:
5. Better Products
I just want to bring great prices and better products to the world and be creative all at the same time, and I think that's what I'm good...
Against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever - it was already out, it was already going to be out there for free, so I made a business deal out of it. I'm smart, and I'm happy that I did that.
- Permalink: Smart Business Woman
- Added:
6. Smart Business Woman
Against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever - it was already out, it was already going to be...
I am not a porn star, I'm going to be done doing adult gentlemen's clubs and exotica expos soon you know. At first I loved doing that, meeting new fans that appreciated me as being on Teen Mom and having a sex video that was out. Now I feel like it's gotten too far and I just kinda want to be done with that. I think going out and doing some of these things are fun, but when it gets to a point when it's not fun, it's more distracting, I'm not about that anymore.
- Permalink: I'm Not a Porn Star!
- Added:
7. I'm Not a Porn Star!
I am not a porn star, I'm going to be done doing adult gentlemen's clubs and exotica expos soon you know. At first I loved doing that,...
) #XXX
I KNOW WHAT'S OUT. Don't talk to me about it! Thanks
- Permalink: Don't Talk About the Sex Tape!
- Added:
8. Don't Talk About the Sex Tape!
) #XXX
You're very close with [fans], so in that aspect, in that light, I think it's only helped me be more honest and a hardworking person because I have more going on than my personal life, I have a professional life. So that's how I feel about that.
- Permalink: True Professional
- Added:
9. True Professional
You're very close with [fans], so in that aspect, in that light, I think it's only helped me be more honest and a hardworking person...
[On James Deen] I don't need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the porn industry because things have gotten to his head, he disrespects women, and his penis is small. I haven't seen many but his definitely was not big.
- Permalink: James Deen Sucks!
- Added:
10. James Deen Sucks!
[On James Deen] I don't need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the...
[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting lash out towards my body and my relationship with my daughter which each are both the epitome of perfection.
- Permalink: Take That, Charlie Sheen
- Added:
11. Take That, Charlie Sheen
[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting...
Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see... was overwhelming, I wanted to hide my face and not go out or pick up my phone.
- Permalink: Overwhelmed
- Added:
12. Overwhelmed
Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see... was overwhelming, I wanted to hide my face and not go out or pick...
[Also on her DUI arrest] I was drinking throughout the night but I was just getting drinks from friends and I was not really trying to drink.
- Permalink: Not TRYING to Drink
- Added:
13. Not TRYING to Drink
[Also on her DUI arrest] I was drinking throughout the night but I was just getting drinks from friends and I was not really trying to...
[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.
- Permalink: .147 BAC = Safe
- Added:
14. .147 BAC = Safe
[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.
Jenelle [Evans] has all the potential to turn her negatives into a positive like I have.
- Permalink: Farrah vs. Jenelle
- Added:
15. Farrah vs. Jenelle
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