We don't want you to get all misty-eyed (or to need a tissue for any other reason, for that matter), but take a second and reflect on the Paris Hilton sex tape.
Was she the first person to record herself having sex? Of course not! Dudes have been sharing their sexual conquests with the world since the days of cave paintings.
Yes, porn had been around for a long time before One Night in Paris was released in 2004, but Paris changed the game when she ushered in the era of the celebrity sex tape.
Yes, that's Paris pulling a When Harry Met Sally on stage at her cousin's bachelorette party.
Who knew she had any acting talent? We can't help but feel a bit bad for the many, many dudes that have been with Paris in the past.
After that performance they must be wondering if she's been faking it for years.
Look, we kid Paris because we love her. Kim Kardashian and Nicole Richie have settled down and popped out some kids, but Ms. Hilton is still posting sexy selfies and keeping the party going well into her 30s. Vive la Paris!
Seconds before this photo was snapped, Paris Hilton was spotted alongside Brittany Flickinger. Looks like Paris was too quick for her supposed new best friend, however.
Paris Hilton introduces her new fragrance "Fairy Dust" to various fans at the Macy's Woodbridge Center Mall in Woodbridge, New Jersey. We can't explain why anybody cared about this.
Poor Paris Hilton, folks. The talentless socialite says all guys use her for money and sex. Maybe if she stopped flaunting those things, she'd find Mr. Right.
This just in: Paris Hilton has cleavage! Who knew?!? The talentless, law-breaking socialite is seen here, showing off her decent-sized breasts as she exits a vehicle.
Paris Hilton is half-naked in this photo from GQ Russia. The thin socialite thinks she's being seductive, but we think she's just being ugly. What do you think of this pose?
A naked Paris Hilton graces the cover of GQ. Stupid GQ. That is cruelty to animals right there. Imagine how many STD tests that poor fluffy bear is gonna need after being all up on Paris Hilton naked. Sheesh.
Sorry... that's an insult to Tokyo. Paris Hilton just happened to be there. The city did not make her a slut. The slut merely went to the city in question.
Paris Hilton showed her support for Aubrey O'Day at a party thrown by Playboy in the latter's honor. We wonder if these two said a word to each other all night.
Paris Hilton invited a photographer underwater with her during a scuba diving trip in Hawaii. Don't ever let this socialite complain about her lack of privacy again.
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