There was a time when THG hated Paris Hilton pretty hard.
She was Kim Kardashian before Kim Kardashian was Kim Kardashian, getting rich off her sex tape, her marketing ability and her complete lack of utter talent.
But that feels like forever ago, doesn't it?
Hilton has now been reduced to playing DJ at clubs (instead of headlining their parties as a guest), dressing as Miley Cyrus for Halloween and posing for a series of random bondage photos.
In short, she's become irrelevant - and there's nothing worse for someone who was only really famous for being famous.
Therefore, on Hilton's 33rd birthday, we give the D-lister a break and pay her tribute with 33 photos from a time when people actually cared about what she did. Those were the days, huh, Paris?
Paris Hilton hasn't been famous for a long time. But she hasn't been arrested in years, either!
2. Hated Hilton
Seconds before this photo was snapped, Paris Hilton was spotted alongside Brittany Flickinger. Looks like Paris was too quick for her supposed new best friend, however.
3. Paris Hilton Image
Want a whiff of Fairy Dust? That's the name of Paris Hilton's new fragrance.
4. Hi, Paris!
Paris Hilton waves to a series of adoring fans. The heiress introduced a new perfume at the event, "Fairy Dust."
5. Paris Presents
Paris Hilton introduces her new fragrance "Fairy Dust" to various fans at the Macy's Woodbridge Center Mall in Woodbridge, New Jersey. We can't explain why anybody cared about this.
6. Fairy Dust Maker
Paris Hilton is proud to present her new fragrance, Fairy Dust. The socialite premiered the perfume in the fall of 2008.
7. Paris Photo
Poor Paris Hilton, folks. The talentless socialite says all guys use her for money and sex. Maybe if she stopped flaunting those things, she'd find Mr. Right.
8. Surprising Cleavage Alert!
This just in: Paris Hilton has cleavage! Who knew?!? The talentless, law-breaking socialite is seen here, showing off her decent-sized breasts as she exits a vehicle.
9. Paris Hilton Nude Photo
Paris Hilton is half-naked in this photo from GQ Russia. The thin socialite thinks she's being seductive, but we think she's just being ugly. What do you think of this pose?
10. Naked Paris Hilton
A naked Paris Hilton graces the cover of GQ. Stupid GQ. That is cruelty to animals right there. Imagine how many STD tests that poor fluffy bear is gonna need after being all up on Paris Hilton naked. Sheesh.
11. Paris Hilton Pussy
Paris Hilton is nicely shaved down... there. Is she in Brazil or Hawaii??? How's it look, Paris?
12. Paris in Malibu
Paris Hilton is a changed woman. Can't you tell, by this picture of her in Malibu?
13. Brittany and Paris Pic
Brittany Flickinger and Paris Hilton are totally Best Friends Forever. Can't you tell, by how they are always photographed together?
14. Paris Rolls in Style
Paris Hilton and BFF Brittany Flickinger arrive for an important shopping trip.
15. Paris Hilton, Pink Bentley
Paris Hilton's pink car is almost as wasteful and gnarly looking as she is. Hey, it's only fitting.
16. Dead Serious
Smile, Paris Hilton! The socialite looks less-than-happy to be at a Dolce & Gabbana store in Beverly Hills.
17. Very Plastic Paris
As usual, Paris Hilton looks nice and plastic in this photo. It was taken from the opening of a Dolce & Gabbana store in Beverly Hills.
18. Tokyo Slut
Sorry... that's an insult to Tokyo. Paris Hilton just happened to be there. The city did not make her a slut. The slut merely went to the city in question.
19. Sad Paris
Why so sad, Paris Hilton? The heiress doesn't look pleased to be at the club Butter in celebration of her 28th birthday.
20. Paris and Aubrey
Paris Hilton showed her support for Aubrey O'Day at a party thrown by Playboy in the latter's honor. We wonder if these two said a word to each other all night.
21. Ready to Party
Let's go party! Paris Hilton heads out of her hotel and seeks a night club in England. Girl must get her groove on.
22. Paris Down Under
Paris Hilton wears ugly sunglasses in two continents, apparently. The socialite is seen here in Australia.
23. Posing For Doug
Or for the cameras that watch her every move. Say what you will about Paris Hilton, she works the celeb gossip media to her advantage.
24. Paris Gets Wet
A frequent thing for her, we know. But in this case we actually mean literally, in the ocean.
25. Awful Looking
It's hard to determine which aspect of Paris Hilton looks more ridiculous in this photo: her headband, her eyes or her lips.
26. Still Celebrating
Paris Hilton turned 28 in February of 2009. In this picture, she's spotted at her 4th or 5th birthday party.
27. Cesspool of Disease
That's pretty much Paris Hilton for you. Girl is not clean in the medical sense. Way too many dudes have been up in that business.
28. Wet BJ
Paris Hilton looks to give boyfriend Doug Reinhardt an in-water blow job. At least that's what we assume is happening here.
29. Paris Underwater
Paris Hilton invited a photographer underwater with her during a scuba diving trip in Hawaii. Don't ever let this socialite complain about her lack of privacy again.
30. A Familiar Position
Paris Hilton is used to crawling on all fours and being on her hands and knees in general. Sometimes even on film.
31. Paris Hilton, Dog
Paris Hilton cradles a small dog. We don't believe this is Tinkerbell, her pooch at the center of a prank call death threat scandal.
32. Paris Hilton for Guess
Does Paris Hilton make you wanna buy Guess clothing? No? What a shock!
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