Chris Brown's trans-American, shackled journey has finally brought him to Virginia, where he's in the general population at Northern Neck Regional Jail.
The singer arrived on the East Coast after a five-day trek from California, stopping to pick up other inmates along the way. Sounds like it sucked royally.
He's set to stand trial in Washington, D.C., for assault starting April 17. If convicted, he could be sentenced to years behind bars for violating probation.
That's the bad news. The good news?
The Northern Neck Regional Jail, just outside his hometown of Tappahannock (where he lost his virginity at age 8), lets him shower whenever he wants!
No, he's not getting special treatment, but as an inmate in the general population with no restrictions, life is way better than 23 hours of solitary confinement in L.A.
Well, provided there are no Rihanna fans filing down crude shanks as we speak. Then it could get ugly, and he'll no doubt be harassed by other inmates.
Still, consider the perks in this piece:
- TV
- Library
- Phones
- Visitors
- Showers
- Exercise Yard
- Meals in the Cafeteria
Basically the Four Seasons of Jails.
Really, who needs Tinseltown when you can watch TV and read books, call Karrueche Tran whenever you want and only moderately fear for your life?
1. Chris Brown Smoking Weed
Chris Brown smoking weed - 3 joints at the same time no less. What a class act as always.
2. Chris Brown Thrusting
Chris Brown does his seductive thing on stage. In GIF form.
3. Beat Women, Not Animals
Words to live by from a Chris Brown meme right here ladies and gentlemen.
4. Chris Brown Virginity
Chris Brown says he lost his virginity at age eight. And is a beast at sex as a result.
5. Chris Brown Smoking Photo
Chris Brown has himself a cigarette. Smoking is a thing that he does from time to time.
6. Chris Brown Teeth
Chris Brown's teeth have seen better days. Lookin a little busted, dat grill.
7. Rihanna Beaten Face Poster
This is one way to advertise a Chris Brown concert. Point, Stockholm, Sweden.
8. Chris Brown Arm Tattoos
Check out Chris Brown's arm tattoos. Those are some serious tats.
9. Chris Brown RAGE!
Chris Brown has that rage in his eyes again. Okay, it's just during his performance at the Billboard Music Awards, but still.
10. Chris Brown Lookin' Ridic
Chris Brown looking ridiculous, even by his lofty standards.
11. Christopher Brown Picture
Chris Brown. Always one to count on for news.
12. Chris Brown is a Douche
At least in this photo. We get it man! You're cool!
13. Chris Brown, Rihanna: Thug Life
Chris Brown and Rihanna are here to wish you a Merry Christmas .... Thug Life style.
14. Chris Brown: Terrorist
Chris Brown is a terrorist ... for Halloween, at least. Check out dude's costume.
15. Chris Brown Grinding
Chris Brown grinds up on some sexy lady not named Rihanna or Karrueche.
16. Chris Brown Shirtless Picture
Chris Brown shirtless. And looking like kind of a douche. A ripped douche, but still douchey.
17. Champagne Shower
Chris Brown is about to produce a champagne shower like no other. Karrueche Tran, get ready.
18. Chris Brown, Champagne
Chris Brown is a class act, as demonstrated by this photo of him at the club. Champagne showers, anyone? From Chris Brown's mouth?
19. Chris Brown Shirtless Pic
Chris Brown partying without a shirt at W.I.P. nightclub in New York. Not long after this pic was taken, crazy stuff went down.
20. Chris Brown Twitpic
Chris Brown was hurt in a fight with Drake's entourage. Yes, he actually got into a fight with guys for once.
21. Contemplative Chris
Chris Brown contemplates life as he sees it. This is just before he reportedly flew into a blinding rage behind the scenes of Good Morning America.
22. Chris Brown Grabs Crotch
Chris Brown grabs some crotch in concert. Lovely.
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